VENMO SALE: Get More Bang For Your Buck with a Birthday Indulgence or Site Membership
It's been a long year, and it's only February, which may not be the best news for all of us. February is an infamously cold and cruel month here in Chicago, and we all know the best way to keep our homes warm is to shoot homemade erotica on our phones and steal our utility budget from the coffers of the churches that oppress us.
It's also my birthday, and I feel we all deserve to celebrate with a clean slate. So, help me celebrate my 40th year on this godless rock by purchasing a plenary indulgence or ten. I've included a free one above for subscribers, but why stop at just one pop?
TLDR: WHATS THE BIRTHDAY DEAL?
Venmo @harmcoxrules is open and waiting for your birthday tributes.
$1-9: use the attached PLENARY INDULGENCE with my blessing.
Yes, everyone else gets it too, but I will think of you fondly while you use it.
$10: One (1) of three (3) artisan-crafted Plenary Indulgences, to be used on the sin of your choice
No requests. You get the one you get. If you want one in particular, buy all three.
$40: One full year of paid access to Apocalypse From Now On
Enjoy your plenary indulgences to the fullest with a full year of dirty film recs and pictures of my butt. Your money allows me to focus on researching and developing my work for this site instead of finding yet another purgatorial gig, for which I am eternally grateful.
In order to receive your reward, venmo me and include what you want in your comment. Please include an email address and allow a day or so for processing. Also, any attempted unnegotiated kink will result in your money being pocketed without further contact or reward. Behave.
What is a plenary indulgence, you may ask? Well, back in the day, the Catholic church used to sell these little beauties to help rich folks escape the need for penance. (The Catholic church strongly denies that indulgences were ever sold as favors, which feels similar to the way I denied having a crush on every single Spice Girl throughout the mid-2000s.)
I admire the brazen opportunism and emotional manipulation that forgiving sins for money provides, so why let the church have all the fun? God isn't real, and I can forgive your sins just as easy as someone in a fancy hat. The pope can come fight me about it if he doesn't like it. I'll put you in the ground, Grandpa. We're open for business!
Use these cute little coupons for the sins of your choice. I don't need to know why you're buying one; in fact, I prefer you keep it to yourself. Have you jerked it to my photos without paying me? Here's your chance to make it right. Have you belittled or ignored trans folks as they have warned you about an encroaching genocide? Gimme ten bucks and I'll let it go. I'll forgive stupid jokes, invasive questions, and anything else you might be feeling squirrely about. Leave your burdens on my massive ass, and I'll carry them for both of us. Just, like, not for free. And if you're REALLY feeling generous, a tribute of $40 will get you a coupon code that pays for a whole year of site access. Cause I'm turning 40. Get it?
(and on a serious note: I'm a disabled queer and trans person who is trying to make this writing thing work for myself in an increasingly challenging climate, and your support makes it a possibility instead of a pipe dream. My birthday gift to myself this year was this kinky John Waters photoshoot, and I wanted to share it with you. Whatever you give me, however you give it, even if it's just sharing and posting and sending encouragement: thank you, thank you, thank you.)
With all that being said, it's my birthday weekend and I deserve a break, so I'm out. Paid members will find a gallery of horny photos below. If they inspire additional sin, well. You know what to do. It's @harmcoxrules on venmo. God bless!